~A unasked-for Q&A session with Master Gorilla~

You disappeared. Are you died? Did you get space flu w/oily discharge?

Yikes. And no, but a global pandemic that has killed thousands of people is a sweet way to make a brief exit for some “me” time. I’ve been working from home, playing from home, plotting from home. It’s hard to find motivation to broadcast for a couple hours, several times a week, when you’ve just spent 9+ hour sitting in that exact same chair, same headset, doing your day job. Besides, I’ve been streaming several times a week for almost 4 friggin’ years so it’s nice to just chill and play games for myself. And watch big foot shit on YouTube. I’ve finished like 10 games since this whole COVID shit started! None of them contained big foot, but I know that fucker is out there. I’m onto you, you hairy bitch! I hope cooking and eating him doesn’t make me patient zero for COVID-20 (or heaven forbid, COVID-69. nice).

So we’re safe now? You’re finally gone?

Fuck you! Also, no. I will return when you most expect it – when you’re alone, you’ll occasionally catch movement out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn to look, you’ll see nothing but the much too many commas I used to construct this sentence. You can also catch up with me on Discord, Twitter, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, ICQ, Twitter, and by digging through my garbage. Or by insulting a game I like, I’ll show up and start bitching immediately, even if it’s clear that you’re joking.

Where is _____ WATCH 2020?

Look, the humor was that there is no 2020 series. I was going to keep stretching out the announcement until the end of the year – I’m letting you in on it now just in case I die suddenly. Which will never happen. Because I promise I will never die.

When are you streaming Bo Jackson Baseball for NES? My wife loves that one. Usually, she rages around and treats everybody like crap, but something about it calms her down. It’d really help me out in my marriage if you’d just do this one thing for me. Please. We need it.

I don’t like the tone that this fictional conversation with myself is taking. This interview is terminated. Besides, my heart belongs to Frank “Big Hurt” Thomas.