Tag Archives: Clive Owen

Movie Knights of the Round Table

King Arthur

PlayStation 2 

~King Arthur is a movie that came out so we’ll get that out of the way off the top~

King Arthur is the painstaking recreation of the 2004 film of the same name, painstakingly recreated in video game form as a painstaking crecreationar of paintings of a movie. THERE ARE OVER 20 MINUTES OF FOOTAGE FROM THE MOVIE INCLUDED IN THE GAME, 20 MINUTES MORE THAN ANYONE IN HISTORY HAS EVER SEEN OF KING ARTHUR. In every level you are given the choice between two people, one of which clearly sucks, so leave them for the second player when playing in Co-op. They’re player 2, only barely human, and deserve nothing finer than the table scraps of the elite. It stars Clive Owen as a sword, and his horse, who displays sickass moves on the dance floor.

It plays like a mixture of Dynasty Warriors and Gauntlet: Dark Legacy…the GBA versions. The UI gives me fond memories of original PlayStation launch titles. Every single menu in the game has a button prompt in the lower-right corner of the screen that prompts you to press Circle for help, which in many cases actually displays instructions on how to use the dpad, or even instructions for single buttons (X for accept, etc.). How or why the single button prompt on the screen is a separate help menu and not the actual button help that would explain how to navigate the menus I have no god damned idea.

There was one level where the enemies took the time to chop down trees to cross a lake that was less than a foot deep. I walked through the river back to them and hit them with my sword until they stopped moving and disappeared.

I hated it. All hail Clive Owen

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