Captain’s Log (hehe..Log)

I don’t know what the fuck a star date is, but it’s currently 9/25/2018 and some sort of time that I could easily grasp by looking in the lower right corner of the screen, but I like to think that the 1 second I saved by not doing that will come in handy later during some sort of emergency (the emergency being that this run-on sentence wasn’t long enough I guess, points spent).


Things have moved along at a brisk pace. MUMMY WATCH 2018™ has been wall-to-wall panic, as the tides of The Scorpion King have ebbed and flowed. Instagram has risen to be the #1 source of #2 (40oz Gorilla information). The first Twitch payout! Equipment slowly dribbles in and has a notable impact in production quality and capabilities. The thing that I enjoy the most is when somebody tells me that I made them laugh, or that I did something interesting on accident…and for that, I thank you.


There’s a definite wave of work on the website, partially because I tend to freeze up on with a sense of dread whenever I pull it up – I immediately feel some sort of hoity-toity pinkies in the air sense of “Oh, only the best!”…which leads to nothing getting done. Perfectionism is a great way to shift the blame off yourself when you don’t produce, and I’m kind of happy that I’m starting to full recognize what that looks like. Hell, 40oz Gorilla YouTube has been up for what, 6 years? Look at it: barren, desolate, like the womb of an exotic doll collector or pet parent. Every time I try to crawl up the Dark Knight Rises type Pit (I’m surprised I remember that much of the movie), I fall to the ground, damning the hell I’ve been put into.


We should change that.


The 30 day challenge (which, I will remind you, I ultimately failed) last September/October was a valiant effort, as was the idea of writing a recap for each stream shortly after being live. But it lacked something…it lacked passion. When I sit in front of a computer and feel dread? I can’t poop out anything of value…and I poop out valuable objects at an alarming rate most days. Maybe it’s an issue of focus…or of making sure there’s a spark behind the words I put down. Putting a deadline on something that is decided by me and only me turns my outlet into a chore. The whole point of this site, originally, was that it was supposed to be the bucket that held my leavings – a doggie bag for the mind.


To quote Total Recall, “Consider that a divorce!”. But, I mean in the opposite direction. I’m not actively putting the gun to your head and sucking the bullet out, no, I mean, it’s on. Shit done changed. Let’s Rock. Full speed ahead! All that jazz. Start some shit.