I Want to Believe

(note: this is one of very few posts I was able to save from the old site. My apologies for not letting it just die.)


I’m sitting here as usual for a ______day night, balls deep in a beer and doing all sorts of strange. This second? I’m watching a video on YouTube regarding “The World’s Strangest UFO Stories”, which feeds back into something I’ve always had a toe dipped into. I’ll explain.

The paranormal has always interested me. I am at home with what Richard Belzer would collect under the umbrella of “UFOs, JFK and Elvis”. There’s something very primal in human nature, something that all of us can identify with when it comes to the unknown. People are always driven towards the new, the obscure. Unsurprising, really…filthy humans are always sticking their fingers in strange holes.   So when I sit here having thumbed through the 185th consecutive UFO video, always managing to be titled something involving the current year, “truth”, “contact”, “disclosure”, “agenda”, and all kinds of other words I’ll use in the tags after this rag is too dirty to wipe my ass with, I can’t help and laugh. I’ve seen the same stories told from a thousand angles, video clips worshiped like the world’s first piece of fried chicken. Roswell. Rendlesham forest. Bigfoot. Betty & Barney Hill. Nick Pope eating a hot dog. The Phoenix Lights. Reptilian shape-shifters. David Icke’s last bowel movement. Does anyone else hear the carnival music?   I don’t mean to be a big dick, but I honestly can’t help it (ladies?). I’ll be the first person to admit that I don’t know everything, but at the same time, I’m not ready to fall in the opposite direction and believe everything that isn’t conclusively disprovable. The state of current paranormal investigation is severely retarded. Where is Arthur C. Clarke when you need him? Oh yeah, dead. Dead like my hopes of real science beating out whatever garbage the SyFy Channel is peddling in between reruns of “Giant Boa vs King Kong’s Balls”.   Fuck the Loch Ness monster. Fuck Bob Lazar. Fuck Fuck Fuck the Police.  

3 Rule

  Stanton Friedman is still the shit, though.